Good News!

The laptop was fixed! My amazing daughter took it to church with her, where her computer genius friend had it running normally in less than 30 minutes! Fuck You Dell Tech Support Guy!

Miracles Never Cease

When the tech support guy said, "Your hard drive has gone bad" followed by, "it sprouted little wings and flew to heaven", I thought that meant about $200 to fix my wifes laptop. I even had done some shopping around to find the best deas on hard drives. However it was for nothing, my daughter said she had a friend at church who is a wiz with computers, so we sent it to church with her, and it came back in working condition! She said that wiz kid typed in a few things and ran an xp disc on it and within 30 minutes it was all back from the brink of destruction. So a big HA HA in the face of the tech support guy, you are paid to know how to do this stuff and you couldn't but a 17 yr old kid could.

Inner Turmoil

Yesterday I was told that today I had to go to my bros house, to discuss and assist Mom with making her will. I am a nervous wreck, I couldn't sleep last night, these moments are tough because they are an omen of change. This is forcing me to accept my Moms mortality. I never feared death for myself, in fact I'm kinda looking forward to seeing what the afterlife holds for me. Most of my life I have feared the death of my Mother, I was a child wracked with insecurity, I lost my father in Nov. of 1973. I was 6 when he passed, so having only one parent most of my life, she became my security, her strength gave me reason to never let her go. As a child I would lay in bed at nite and pray to God or any other entity that could hear me to give Mom a long life. Because I needed her. I'm nearly 42 now, and Mom is 73, she was just diagnosed with cancer, colon cancer. It may be operable, may not. No word on how long she has got. As a grown man with a wife and kids, I thought I was past all that childhood insecurity but knowing that she is not immortal and getting closer to the END, has brought back some of that insecurity. I have no idea what to do with it. Last night my son, my best friend, and myself had a little campfire in the front yard, were in the country, no neighbors. Anyway sitting next to that fire, feeling the heat, I went into a little meditative state, very relaxed and very calm. I saw my Dad, my Aunt and Uncle, my Moms Aunt, and all the family that had passed. They were embracing my Mom, they were all smiling and happy. My little head trip went other places after that, areas that concern my faith in God. I felt better, I can accept that my Mom is going to die. She will go to be with her family that is waiting for her, and the real joyful part of this for me is that I know they will be waiting for me when it is my time. Knowing that will help me to carry out the rest of my days secure in the fact that I will see her again.

About my best friend, his name is Ray. He is a great human being, he helped me to reach that meditative state. He is my spiritual guru, he understands the universe in the same way I do. He helped me so much, he deserves a thank you. I told him he should write a book, because I know it would change lives all over the world. He is also a fierce patriot, a loving father, and a jack of all trades.

When Bad News Piles Up!

Aaaaaaahhhh I fucked up my wifes laptop! I won't go into all the gory details, but it was my fault, human error, but the bad news is the hard drive is dead, or to use the tech support guys words, "your hard drive has gone bad"! Yeah that will send shivers right down your spine and into your wallet. The really really bad part is the laptop was a gift from dear Aunt Pansy. My wife used it twice and now its dead. I am to blame. Upwards of a couple hundred dollars to repair it, but I don't have two dimes to rub together. My buddy tried to help me but to no avail. Yesterday while I am already stressing about the fucked laptop, I get the news that my Mom has cancer. So now that is weighing heavy on my mind. I feel like I could just curl up and die. So what do I do, I come back to blogging, it is my therapy. I have been away from blogging for a long time, I found a new therapy when the laptop came it was new enough to run a nice myspace app called green spot. Thats what I've been doing, it was better than meditation. Because I am an idiot and broke the laptop I no longer have that therapy. My wife, God bless her, is blissfully asleep and not aware of how bad the laptop fuck up is. I have to find the courage to tell her that not only did I fuck it up, but that I fucked it up good. It will cost us 100 bucks for a new hard drive and another 100 bucks for a new xp disk. I hate computers, it is too bad that all the amazing stuff the internet has to offer can only be accessed thru these difficult and complex machines that break down frequently. This cloud has a silver lining, I still have this old pc, runs great but not good enough to run myspace apps, but works great for blogging. Peace, pray for me.

Google Image Search Results

My beautiful wife found this picture while she was conducting a Google image search for "mexican midgets". Don't ask why she was searching for mexican midgets.

I'm Still Alive!

Wow what a totally awesome beginning to the new year. Bullshit! New Years Eve, picture it, I'm partying, a little drinky drink and a little smokey smoke, then I get hit with it. I almost instantaneously felt ill. Fever, stuffed up nose, cough. Hack Hack the Cold. New Years day I was going to be a trooper and celebrate our traditional New Years dinner as a family, I end up passing out on my bros couch. They wake me just to take me home. My brothers wife, God bless her, says, "Get outta here sicky, ya tryin to make everyone else sick?". 5 yes Five days later I am able to get up and sit at the computer. I am feeling well, getting better everyday. Thanks for your concern. I survived thats the important part.