Friday, December 26, 2008

Things will never be the same!

My world was altered drastically early Dec. 25th. My son got Guitar Hero 3 with the wireless guitar. I had reservations about a game where your not actually playing the music. But once out of the box and into the system, it's quite fun. My son and I stayed up till 6 am just to jam on one more classic rock tune. It was played all day. I dont like the guitar however. I prefer to rock out using the classic PS2 Dual Shock Controller. But my boy looks like a real rockstar when he really gets going with that guitar. It is very fun and very addictive. I hope it doesnt consume my world. If your kids dont have Guitar Hero think carefully before purchasing, the ramifications of this purchase could alter your familys future. No more family TV time, just us rockin out to GH. My wife already hates it, but she is holding her tongue until the holidays are over. I think she is hoping the newness will fade. She doesnt understand the gamer mentality, which is "Win, Conquer, Level UP"! I think we'll be playin this one until we beat it on expert. Rock On!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas

Just wishing a Merry Xmas to all, and to all a Happy Hannukah and whatever. It is the most wonderful time of the year. Duality best describes the Christmas season, I think. Because everyone has the best intentions and wants to buy gifts for their loved ones, but at the same time were griping about how expensive everything is. Were rude to each other in traffic, people get pushy in crowded stores. Half of us are just shopping online because dealing with all the insensitive idiots drags us down into a depression. Oh and the awful Christmas music piped through everything with speakers. It's just too much, we have Christmas crammed down our throats as soon as Halloween is over nowadays. I can only hear Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer so many times before I find myself midswing in a homicidal rage. Everybody knows what Christmas is all about, The Birth of the Saviour, but almost none of us think of him when were ripping thru the wrapping, or tearing thru the parking lot for that last minute gift. Because we are so pressured by the people who sell Christmas, to buy and buy some more and dont forget to buy something for everyone, "Oh no, someone bought everyone two presents. That jerk isnt better than me, I'll go buy 3 presents for everyone on my list". Consume, consume, consume that is the true meaning of Christmas for the merchants and corporations. They are virtually the money changers in the temple. Christmas is supposed to be holy, they have cheapened it with their glitter and shiny baubles. I guess I should get to the point, it's ok to buy presents and sing Rudolph 47 times but please do everything you can to remember what this day is truly about. LOVE. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. He sacrificed for us, to save us. Because he LOVES us. So love your fellow man and really love with all your might your family. Cherish them now because they wont always be there. Merry Christmas.


P.s. To all you atheists, Merry Christmas to you too. Because even tho you do not recognize God, He still loves you.

Friday, December 12, 2008

My Daughter is a Blogger

photographytrainwreck.blogspot.com

Please check out her blog and leave a comment if you like what you see, if you dont like it, please shut the hell up. She is into nature photography and takes some beautiful pics. She lacks confidence in her work however. So show her some support.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Say it aint so!


OK first off, I do not own this image, but I got it in an email. This is not a cat, this is an Opossum. Lets examine this closer for the full comedic quality. First line - Male - No Collar = I would never get close enough to a possum to determine its sex, unless it was a fresh kill so that tells us some dipshit actually flipped this bad boy over and inspected his junk, damn. Second line - Not very friendly, I think hes scared. Ha, damn right he is, you done crossed the line when you determined his sex. Not to mention that this is a wild animal. I cant believe it let someone get that close. Third line - Not house broken either(sad face). You've got to be shitten me! Well ok the possum shitted. Some dumbass tried to get a possum to use the litter box! There arent words to express my laughter. Fourth line - Found on Sunset Blvd. Oh that explains it, this must be Cali. Unfortunately this is perpetuating the stereo type that people from California are self absorbed idiots. Last line - If he is yours please call, thankfully someone blacked out the number. Cuz I would've called and said, "Hahahaha, you retard thats a possum not a cat!" On second thought, I probably would've alerted them to the dangers and instructed them to call animal control. Then quietly laughed about it later with my friends. Peace readers.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Guess what I've been up to?!

Well recently I have been playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, and a lot of Fallout 2. I have seen the previews for Fallout 3 and it made me want to experience the predecessors. My good buddy Ray hooked me up with the game and I downloaded all the cheat devices to help me get the most out of my time. I used to play video games, but with the advancements in technology today none of us play them. We experience games. You can fully immerse yourself in games today and get really deeply into finding out every little secret thing the developers put into the game. Yeah for those of my readers who know San Andreas, I spent countless hours searching for Bigfoot on Mt. Chiliad.

I had my first opportunity of the year to say my favorite winter time phrase, "The White Death is upon us!". My kids always respond with, "it's not the white death, it's snow". Then I go through the list of ways people can die from winter dangers. Avalanches! Avalanches kill people every year! Frostbite, hypothermia. Oh and dont forget slick roads!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Are you a believer?


Yeah, I believe in ghosts! The above photo was taken in a 200+ yr old house, that I used to live in. The house is definately haunted. I personally witnessed the bath tub faucet turn on and off with no people in the room, there was also an incident with a broom, it had been left laying in the kitchen floor, the handle end rose up about 3 feet off the ground and then slammed back down on the floor and it repeated that 3 or 4 times. There are so many stories about that house I could write about it all day. I have had encounters with ghosts many times in my life. I once woke up, as a kid, with a man standing next to my bed. I of course panicked, ran out of my room and threw up from fear. My mom and my sister both searched the room, no man hiding in there anywhere. No explanation. I love watching those paranormal tv shows. I just know someday someone is going to prove that ghosts are real and its going to change the world. My favorite show is Ghost Hunters. TAPS is probably going to be the ones who finally get proof, they go in skeptic and eliminate anything that can be disproven or debunked, whats left is evidence. I also like Paranormal State, Haunting Evidence, and Most Haunted. Though I must admit I think I caught the Most Haunted people faking it, there was a scene where they were asking the ghost to move the table, the camera would show the womans face while she was talking and then mysteriously turn away from her everytime the table would move, it would show the other side of the table, but once it turned back toward her too soon and I could see her hands on the table and it looked like she was rocking the table. If you have to fake it, then dont bother, leave paranormal investigation to those who are honest. Or admit your playing with things for entertainment purposes. The Paranormal State team impresses me, they do their research and they are not afraid to call in Chip Coffey or Lorraine Warren. Chip is a psychic or medium, not sure which, Lorraine Warren is a demonologist. They will even admit if they think that someone is trying to fake it. Haunting Evidence is a show where a psychic, a medium, and a paranormal investigator try to solve murders. I watched them get into the Jon Benet Ramsey case, I honestly thought the murderer was someone in her family, but after watching that show I am convinced otherwise. I believe that because of their effort the police will someday catch the killer.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Crazy Addictions



I am a wrestling fan! Professional wrestling is the most entertaining stuff on television! The picture is of my favorite wrestler, Chris Jericho! Y2J, The King of Bling Bling, The Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah! We get together as a family and watch it every monday and friday. WWE Raw and Smackdown. Thursday nights we watch TNA Impact, another wrestling show! I never get tired of it. I know some people will say wrestling is fake, but they are wrong. Yeah the action in the ring is scripted, they have storyline writers. Anybody who says its fake needs to go in the ring with some of those guys. Those men and women put their bodies on the line to entertain me. Though it is scripted it is also very physical and they do get hurt, sometimes severely. Kurt Angle, a wrestler, got injured during a match, he kept wrestling for the fans. I respect them for their sacrifice for my entertainment.


My other addiction is video games! Violent games are the best! I love clubbing people in the head at a crosswalk, I'm talking Grand Theft Auto! Please dont blame violent behaviour on video games, blame the parents. I wont go off on that tyrade, thats for another day. I love all kinds of games tho. Racing games, puzzle games, RPGs, Final Fantasy games, War games, my current favorite is a tie between Grand Theft Auto Vice City and Star Wars Battlefront 2.


My other other addiction is Chiaki Kuriyama! I first saw her in Kill Bill. There is something sexy about those knee socks. As you can probably tell I made this collage as an homage to hotness. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

My Crazy Daughter


Usually she drives me nuts, with all her weird music and love of those Twilight books. Sometimes however she enlightens me. She has gotten me addicted to Flogging Molly, she even got me liking bands like Fountains of Wayne. She has been speaking alot about the movie Hairspray, the new version with Travolta in drag. I always thought it would be stupid, why would anyone want to see Travolta dressed up like a woman. I was negative about it. I finally decided that I would watch it with her. Well once again, she changed my mind about things. The movie was thoroughly entertaining, I wanted to sing and dance with the characters in the movie. Thanks to her, my world is a much wider place with songs and images that have left their mark on my life. Sometimes, our personalities clash, we are both stubborn know-it-alls. We fight verbally, sometimes screaming at the top of our lungs. But no matter what, I love her. I've been a part of her life since she was in 1st Grade, she is now 21. She attends church and even works the Manna Kitchen to feed the poor. I respect her for that. She is not perfect, but she is my kid.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Beware Health Nazi's

I am sick of all these health freaks making my world suck! You bastards took all the delicious trans fat away! Ever since they started that Olean crap, french fries suck! They literally make me sick! I wish all you stupid fuckers who think that if you eat healthy you will live longer would get hit by a bus. Your wrong, your going to die, it happens to all of us! I dont wanna be 90 and healthy, I wanna live my life eating good foods, even if it kills me! When I say good I mean taste, not health! You bastards are pissing me off with your fad diets and fucking pressuring fast food restaurants to serve healthy foods. When I was kid, we didnt have Happy Meals, but if we did I damn sure wouldnt have wanted apple slices in it! I want a cheeseburger and fries and a real non-diet Coca Cola! OOOh Americas kids are obese, blame the parent if your really that concerned. Every adult in this country knows that McFood is bad for you. So if you let your kid eat it, its your choice. Dont be pissed later when Johnny weighs more than you do! Stop telling me what I can and cannot do! I am an adult if I want to grow cholesterol in my vein farms, thats my business! Sure you can educate me of the choices, but dont take my choice away from me! I am sick and tired of a certain group of people telling the rest of us how to live! Bite my ass! Health Nazi bastard fuckers!

Friday, September 26, 2008

It's my birthday... blah

I am officially 41 as of today, woooooo. No, no wooooo. Damnit I dont wanna get old. My body is getting older but my spirit still feels young. I already got a present too. My dear mother gave me some nice warm winter socks, which I know some people would be like "whoop de doo socks?", not me, I want socks. My circulation aint so good no more, my feet get cold, so socks is a great gift. With winter creeping up on us, I will need those warm comfy socks. Dont Knock The Sock(s). She also gave me a magnifying glass. I have been dropping hints, I need one, I cant read small print like I used to could. So thank you dear mother. I will post a list of every gift I get, with gushing thanks of course. But I will truly be thankful for having friends and family who care enough to buy me a present. All you fuckers who dont get me anything, can bite my crusty old ass!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

My Crazy Mother

My mom. What can I say, I love her. She gave me the best life she could. I have so many memories, where to begin. Well how about the time we vacationed in Florida. I got sun burned really bad, like horribly. My loving mother thought that it would feel good on my sunburn to splash around in the ocean. Remember, I love my mom, but she was wrong, that salty ocean water burned so bad all I could do was scream! People walking by on the beach looked at me like I was a retard afraid of the water. They had no idea I was screaming in pain, neither did my mother. I look back at that and laugh. I remember when the Fox River froze, the ice had began to break up, we walked along the shore. It sounded like a thousand tinking wine glasses. I will never forget that sound. My mom and I walked that shore a good long while, we found this huge block of ice that had been pushed on the land by the floe. We tried to push it back in the river but it was too heavy. There were a lot of moments like that, mom and I exploring. We also walked that riverbank looking for a dead body. Yeah, there was a girl who went missing one year, my mom being an amateur sleuth decided we should go look for her. We never found any bodies, thank God. My mom and I once discovered this hill that was wooded and it led up to train tracks, but the hill side was littered with old bottles and miscellaneous castoffs from many years. We found old Aurora brewery bottles, and I found one of the old ceramic bottle caps from the old Aurora brewery. I still have that little treasure today. If you cant tell I grew up in Aurora, Il. When they dammed the river to build the riverboat casinos, mom and I snuck over the fence and walked around on the river bed, I found an old bottle still corked. It has a giraffe on the side, I assume some sort of throat medicine or mouthwash. That was an experience I'll never forget. Not to mention that my boss, who lived across the street from that spot in the Leland Tower, saw me. Caught in the act. Back when I had graduated the sixth grade from Allen School, we took a field trip to Springfield. I came home and told my mom how great it was and I was disappointed that we didnt get to see everything. My mom planned a weekend trip for us to Springfield. I think she just wanted to see all the cool stuff I was telling her about. We had a lot of fun, we hit every museum in that town. The only bad part was the trying to sleep in a hotel room in downtown Springfield. Sirens and screeching tires all night long. I could go on and on, thanks to my mom I have a memory full of adventures. Thank You Mom!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Halloween is coming!


Halloween will be here soon! I am really excited, cant wait. Candy, Candy and more Candy. I love Halloween for all the scary movies, and the discount candy after Halloween. I dont wear costumes anymore, too old. We dont even get to give out candy, we live in a place that is unfavorable to trick or treaters. On a hill, with a nasty bend in the road, makes us out of reach. But we do make Halloween as fun as we can for ourselves. We have skeletons that we pull out of the closet and hang up. We buy lots of candy and just eat it. We watch scary movies. Sometimes we'll even jump in the car and take a drive by the old haunted house we used to live in. That part really scares the shit outta me, that house wants to kill me! But thats another story for another day.


My Crazy Wife

I love her, and she loves hamming it up for the camera!

There must be hundreds of pictures of her flipping the bird, she sees camera, middle finger flies! Most of the bird pics happen during holidays, as you can see by the Mr. & Mrs. Claus behind her. This one is the only one she would allow me to put online.

I love this lady so much, she is my rock. She is sensible, smart and forward thinking. Whereas I am a dreamer, sometimes stupid, and often a flake. She truly is my better half. I thank God for her! She also reels me in, when I go off the deep end. She keeps me sane. I couldnt live without her. Best part of all, she is crazy about me!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Ooooh, Evil Kitty

Screwball, during a full moon!
Just kidding, camera flash made his eyes look like that. He has very large green eyes, when he was a kitten we called him Alien Kitty, cuz his eyes were huge.

I believe in Aliens!




Yeah thats right, I said it! Aliens exist, they are real and they are out there! Sometimes I think I'm an alien or at least half alien. I watch all those UFO shows on tv. I believe. I've even personally witnessed unidentifiable objects in the skies over my town. Things that cannot be explained. Aliens are real. If any real aliens read this blog, please come get me! I want to cruise around in your ships! Wouldnt that be awesome?! I want to meet you personally. Email me, leave a comment or beam me up! C'mon aliens I'm one of you, Im more evolved than the rest of humanity! Pick me, Pick me!

Turbo, the Wonder Dog! ...and Zombie Dog!


This is our baby, Turbo, and he really is wondrous, erm, and a ...Zombie!
We received him as a gift from my sister in law.
He got his name when we first got him, he was cowering nearby when I yelled at my wife, "Are you gonna play that stupid turbo all nite?" Turbo21 to be exact on Pogo.com. He charged from his hiding place and began barking at me. So we named him Turbo.
Zombie? Yes Zombie, you read correctly. He was once involved in a fight with a much larger dog, taking on things bigger than him is classic Turbo, the bigger dog beat the living crap out of him time and time again. Turbo would always go back for more. One night my wife was leaving the driveway, heading to the store, there he was laying in the road, to all appearances dead. My brother and my son got a shovel and a garbage bag, to move him out of the road and bury him. My bro went to scoop him up with the shovel, and about 5 inches off the ground on the shovel, Turbo stood up and ran home. My bro and my son still talk about the day the dog rose from the dead. They even checked him good first to make sure he was dead. So we call him the Zombie Dog.
My wife is so attached to him that he sleeps with us at night, she calls him, "My Baby". He's my hero, my son likes to play fight, when he pretends to hit me or my wife, the dog goes nuts, to the point of trying to bite. I told my son that if the dog bit him it was his own fault. You cant provoke a dog then get mad if they bite you.
Why is he wondrous you ask, he can open the door and let himself in or out, he obeys better than any dog I have ever seen. He watches for cars when he crosses the street to pee on the neighbors trees. Our neighbor even said that he is the smartest dog hes ever seen. Turbo has another Momma, the lady across the street gives him food and even takes him in and gives him baths. Sometimes he comes home smelling like flea shampoo. We dont know the lady, but Turbo does, if shes ok by him, shes ok by us. We dont mind sharing such an incredible dog.

My Best Friends

Alice, sweet Alice.

Ginger, mother of Alice, Oddball, and Rusty.


Oddball, rest in peace kiddo.


Screwball, father of Oddball, Rusty, and Alice. AKA Big Black Booty Daddy.

Rusty, rest in peace Lil Buddy.

We started with just Screwball and Ginger, then they had kittens, Rusty, Oddball, Alice, and Frankenhead(Not Pictured). Oddball was sick from the beginning, we always expected her death. Rusty lost his life in a tragic accident. Frankenhead we gave to my wifes father, and his life was taken by a large male cat. Frankenhead was fluffy and white, he got his name because he was the biggest of the litter and had an abnormally large head.

Alice got her name from an old Dr. Hook song, you know the one "Alice, Alice, who the fuck is Alice"

Oddball got her name because she was the only one to actually resemble her father, Screwball.

Rusty got his name because we couldnt think of a name for him, my son started calling him Rusty cuz of his color. He had many nicknames, McLovin, McNugget, Lone Wolf, Rustbucket, Rusty Cage, Rustic.

Yeah I love my cats.

Blogging is fun!

I write several blogs on many subjects, but none of them are about me! So this one is about me! I come from a dysfunctional family, but no details, dont want them nuts hatin me! I got a beautiful wife, who I love more than life itself. Two great kids who annoy the crap outta me everyday. I am a huge wrestling fan. I am constantly thinking up get rich quick schemes, but usually someone already did it or it only appeals to nuts like me. I have three cats and a dog. Ooh I'll post their pics! My mom is in her 70's and still full of life, and ornery as a rattlesnake! But I love her dearly. Dont tell her, but I intend to put a pic of my mom on here too. I also intend to sneak a few other family photos past my wife!